Why I Don’t Do It All—and What I Focus on Instead

lindsay Metternich
Jul 15
3 min read

By Lindsay Metternich | Harmony Helpers

There was a time in my life when I really thought I should be able to do it all.

Keep a spotless home. Make fresh dinners every night. Stay on top of work. Run errands without forgetting the milk. Be fully present with my kids. And don’t forget self-care, spiritual growth, friendship, and hydration.

Right?

I don’t know who I thought I was. Probably some combination of Pinterest boards, sitcom moms, and my own impossible standards.

But I can say this now, with peace:I don’t do it all anymore. And I never will.

The Myth of “Doing It All”

Let’s just name it: “Doing it all” is a lie.

Behind every perfectly curated feed or color-coded planner is a trade-off. Something is always being sacrificed: sleep, sanity, presence, or peace.

I used to chase balance like it was a badge. But balance isn’t a tightrope. It’s a rhythm—and one that needs rest as much as productivity.

So instead of trying to do everything, I started asking:

👉 What really matters right now?

Not in theory.Not someday.Not to everyone else.To me.To my family.To our actual life.

And from that question came my focus.

What I Focus on Instead

1. Connection Over Perfection

If my kids grow up remembering that I sat on the floor and played, listened to their stories, or watched them do the same trick ten times… that means more to me than whether the laundry was folded right away.

That doesn’t mean the house is chaos (well, sometimes it is). But it means presence is more important than polish.

I try to say yes to them more than I say yes to one more task.

2. Rhythms Over Routines

Rigid routines used to break me. Now I live by rhythms: gentle patterns that hold our days without squeezing the life out of them.

Morning rhythm.After-school rhythm.Evening wind-down rhythm.

They anchor us—but leave space for being human.

3. Nourishment Over Noise

This one’s big.I used to fill every corner of my day with shoulds: more emails, more errands, more scrolling, more “keeping up.”

Now, I focus on what nourishes:

Real food that doesn’t stress me out
Walks outside
Laughing at dinner
A Bible verse on the fridge
A 10-minute quiet moment with tea

Not everything that asks for your attention deserves it.

4. Progress Over Pressure

I don’t need to crush every goal. I need to move gently in the direction that matters.

Some days, that looks like a full work sprint. Other days, it looks like surviving with paper plates and grace.

Either way, I’m showing up. And that counts.

What I’ve Let Go Of

Guilt for saying no. My no makes room for my yes.
Shame about messes. We live here. Life is allowed.
Comparing my motherhood to someone else’s highlight reel.
The need to “catch up.” If it’s important, I’ll come back to it.
Being the hero. My kids don’t need a superhero. They need me. Soft, tired, growing me.