Parenting Kids with ADHD When You Also Have ADHD

How We Thrive in a Home Full of Big Feelings, Brilliant Ideas, and Lost Water Bottles

By Lindsay Metternich

Some days, parenting a child with ADHD feels like juggling flaming swords.Now imagine doing it with ADHD yourself—and also trying to remember where you put the calendar.

It’s beautiful.It’s chaotic.It’s loud, emotional, creative, and overwhelming.

It’s a home where everyone feels everything deeply, struggles with transitions, forgets the instructions, and still wants to do their very best.

If you’re parenting kids with ADHD while managing your own, you’re not alone.Here’s what that looks like in our home—and the lessons I’m learning as we grow (and forget) together.

🧠 First: It’s Not Just “Harder”—It’s Different

Parenting with ADHD means I’m not just navigating their needs—I’m battling my own executive function struggles at the same time.

That means:

• Forgetting to pick up the prescription for both of us

• Struggling to stay regulated when they’re melting down

• Losing my train of thought while giving instructions

• Feeling the same overwhelm they’re feeling—and not always knowing how to help either of us

We both need visual reminders.We both feel like failures some days.We both feel "too much" for the world.

But the difference is, I’m the adult now.Which means I’m learning to pause. To repair. And to show my child that being neurodivergent doesn’t mean being broken—it just means learning different tools.

🫶 What Actually Helps (and Keeps Us from Spiraling)

Here’s what works in our house—not perfectly, but better.

1. Side-by-Side Structure

We keep our systems visible, shared, and simple:

• A family whiteboard for daily to-dos

• Timers for transitions (and reminders for me)

• Morning/evening checklist cards for both of us

• “First-Then” language to keep expectations clear

• One task at a time—always

We don’t just set routines for our kids—we co-regulate with them. We model structure, and we model flexibility when it breaks down.

2. Co-Regulation Over Consequences

Punishment doesn’t work on dysregulation. Regulation does.

So instead of yelling “CALM DOWN!” (which, let’s be honest, I’ve done), I now try to:

• Sit down beside them

• Offer silence, space, or a hug

• Breathe with them

• Narrate what I notice, not what I need

• Take a break together

Sometimes, I have to calm myself first. Because no one learns when we’re both losing it.

3. Forgiveness on Repeat

We forget things. A lot of things.

So we’ve normalized:

• “Try again” days

• Apologies from parents

• Laughing when things fall apart

• Giving grace when a meltdown wipes out a schedule

There is no room for shame in our home. Just accountability, kindness, and do-overs.

4. Celebrating the ADHD Superpowers

Our house is full of:

• Wild creativity

• Hyperfocus magic

• Deep emotional intuition

• Curiosity and connection

• Thinking outside every box

We talk about ADHD not as a flaw—but as a different operating system. It’s not always easy, but it’s full of possibility.

😔 When the Guilt Creeps In

ADHD parenting is exhausting. And when we’re neurodivergent too, the guilt can feel even heavier.

• “I should be more patient.”

• “Why can’t I remember these things?”

• “They need better than what I can give.”

But here’s the truth: you’re exactly the right parent for your child.Because you get it. You’ve lived it. You’re still living it. And every time you try again, they learn what real love looks like.

✨ Final Thoughts: Raising Kids Like Us

Parenting kids with ADHD when you also have ADHD means everything is bigger:

• The messes

• The meltdowns

• The magic

• The love

It’s not about being perfectly regulated, structured, or on top of everything.It’s about being connected. Being consistent enough. And being safe to grow alongside your kids.

If you're in this life with me—forgetting appointments and dancing in the kitchen at 9pm because no one wants to go to bed—just know this:

You're not failing. You're building a home that makes room for different kinds of brilliance.

And that's something to be proud of.

Would you like a printable Parent + Child ADHD Routine Chart, Visual Morning Checklist, or a “Do-Over” Journal Page? I’ll make one just for us—just say the word.