How to Build Routines That Stick (Even if Nothing Ever Has)

lindsay Metternich
Jul 15
4 min read

Let’s be honest: the word routine can feel like a trap.

You start out strong—new planner, highlighters, the Pinterest aesthetic. But within a few days? You're already off track, and that shiny new system feels more like a reminder of everything you're not doing. If you’ve ever said, “Nothing ever works for me,” you’re not alone—and you’re not broken.

The truth is, most routines are built for neurotypical brains that thrive on structure. But if your brain craves novelty, struggles with time blindness, or short-circuits under pressure (hello ADHD, anxiety, burnout, or just being human in 2025), it’s time to try a better way.

Here’s how to build a routine that actually sticks—even if nothing ever has.

1. Start Stupidly Small

I’m talking insultingly small. Want to start a morning routine? Begin with brushing your teeth and splashing water on your face. That’s it. That counts.

Our brains love wins, even micro-ones. Small steps build trust with yourself, and they lay the foundation for bigger habits later. Don’t underestimate the power of momentum.

Try this: Instead of “do yoga every morning,” start with “put the yoga mat out.” Bonus points if you lay on it for 30 seconds and call it savasana.

2. Tie New Habits to Existing Anchors

Brains love patterns. That’s why “habit stacking” works. Link your new routine to something you already do—like brewing coffee, brushing your teeth, or flopping onto the couch after work.

Example: “After I pour my coffee, I’ll write down one task for the day.”“When I plug in my phone to charge, I’ll also plug in my brain with a 3-minute meditation.”

Stack it. Anchor it. Repeat it.

3. Give It a Why (Not Just a What)

“I want to wake up early” isn’t a compelling reason to leave your cozy bed. But “I want to have quiet time before my kids wake up because it helps me feel like me again”? That’s powerful.

Your routine needs a why—something meaningful to your life right now, not just something that looks good in a productivity blog.

Ask yourself:What would this routine give me?What’s one feeling I want more of in my day?

Build around that.

4. Make It Visible (and Kind)

Out of sight = out of mind. Use sticky notes. Put your checklist on the fridge. Hang your habit tracker by the bathroom mirror. Visibility matters.

But make it kind. Skip the red Xs of doom. Use checkmarks, stickers, or even a “good enough” box. You’re not a robot. Progress isn’t linear.

Tip: Create a “Done-ish” column if your day goes sideways. Half-done is still something.

5. Set the Mood, Not Just the Task

Want to make a new habit stick? Make it feel good. Light a candle, put on cozy socks, play music that matches the vibe. This turns your routine into an experience—not a chore.

Our brains remember how things feel. If your new routine feels calming, playful, or cozy, you’re more likely to return to it.

6. Plan for the Chaos, Not Perfection

Your routine needs a plan B. And maybe a plan C. Life will interrupt. Kids will get sick. You’ll forget. It doesn’t mean the routine is broken. It means you’re human.

Create flexible versions:

A 2-minute version for bad days
A “skip guilt-free” policy once a week
A “try again tomorrow” mindset

Perfection is not the goal—consistency with compassion is.

7. Name It Something Fun

No one wants to do a “morning routine.” But a “Sunrise Slow-Start” or “Coffee & Clarity Ritual”? That feels inviting.

Gamify it. Name it like a secret mission or a spa treatment. Trick your brain into thinking it’s a treat, not a task.

Examples: The “Brain Boot-Up” (a 3-step morning plan) “Operation Peaceful Parent” (evening wind-down) “Mood Boost Minis” (5-minute pick-me-ups throughout the day)

8. Track Your Streaks (or Sparkles)

Don’t obsess over streaks—celebrate effort. Whether you use a tracker, a journal, or just throw confetti (real or metaphorical), mark your wins.

Some people thrive on checklists. Others love gold stars. One client of mine drew tiny hearts on her calendar for every time she showed up for herself—even if it was just for 30 seconds.

Celebrate consistency, not perfection.

9. Give It 3 Weeks (Then Edit)

Try your new system for 21 days—without judgment. Notice what works. Notice what feels like dragging a boulder uphill. Then edit.

You’re not failing if it needs to change. You’re customizing. That’s wisdom.

10. Get an Accountability Buddy (or Be Your Own)

Tell someone. Post it. Text your best friend “Did the thing today!” even if it’s just making your bed. Or keep a private journal where you check in with yourself like you would with a friend.

Your routine will stick better if someone’s cheering you on—even if it’s just Future You.