5 Things I Stopped Doing to Be a Happier Mom

By Lindsay Metternich | Harmony Helpers

For the longest time, I thought being a “good mom” meant doing everything.

Homemade meals, perfect routines, educational activities, a clean house, smiling through chaos, and managing everyone else’s moods—without ever falling apart.

But you know what that turned me into?A mom who was exhausted, anxious, and barely enjoying her own life.

So one day, I sat down, looked at the chaos, and asked myself: What if I stopped doing the things that were breaking me?

What if happiness as a mom wasn’t found in doing more, but in letting go?

Here are five things I stopped doing—and how they helped me become a calmer, happier version of the mom I always wanted to be.

1. I Stopped Trying to Keep the House Perfect

Real talk: my house is clean enough to be healthy and messy enough to be lived in.

I used to spiral every time there were dishes in the sink or toys on the floor. But the more I stressed about the mess, the less time I actually spent living in our home.

Now I clean in rhythms, not marathons:

• Quick resets throughout the day

• One deep-clean day a week (or sometimes... month)

• A family chore system (yes, even the teens and toddlers help)

Is the laundry ever truly “done”? No.But I’m no longer trading my sanity for spotless counters.

2. I Stopped Comparing My Family to Everyone Else’s

That mom who makes bento box lunches with tiny fruit stars?She’s not my competition. She’s just doing her thing.

The day I stopped measuring my worth by what other moms were doing online was the day I got my joy back.

My family isn’t Instagram-perfect.But we laugh, we hug, and we’re trying.

Comparison steals the joy of what’s already good in front of you.And good enough is still good.

3. I Stopped Overloading Our Schedule

At one point, we were in sports, clubs, church groups, tutoring, appointments, family dinners, and about a hundred “just one more things.”

And I was miserable.

Now? We say no more than we say yes.

Each kid gets to pick one thing per season.We keep at least two weeknights free.Sundays are sacred. No obligations, no outings. Just home.

Protecting margin in our week gave us space to breathe—and to be together without rushing.

4. I Stopped Expecting Myself to Be Calm All the Time

This one was hard.

I used to beat myself up every time I lost my temper or cried in front of my kids. I thought being a good mom meant being endlessly patient and unfazed.

But I’m human. And my kids need to see that.

Now, when I mess up, I apologize. I repair. I model what it looks like to be real and growing.

I don’t have to be a perfect mom.I just have to be a safe, loving one.(And one who drinks her coffee before answering 47 questions.)

5. I Stopped Putting Myself Last

This one changed everything.

I thought self-care was selfish. That it had to wait until everyone else was okay.

But when I’m running on fumes, nobody’s okay.

So I started:

• Going to bed at a decent time

• Taking 20-minute walks with a podcast

• Making myself lunch (not just eating crusts and scraps)

• Saying no to things that steal my peace

When I take care of me, I show up better for them.Not perfect. But present.

Final Thoughts: Less Is More, Mama

I didn’t need to become more organized, more patient, or more productive to be a better mom.

I needed to become kinder to myself.I needed to focus on the things that mattered.And I needed to stop chasing “doing it all” and start living on purpose.

If you’re feeling overwhelmed, start here:Make a “Stop Doing” list.Circle one thing that’s weighing you down.Let. It. Go.

You don’t need to do more.You just need to let go of what’s not serving your joy.

Your kids don’t need the Pinterest version of you.They need you—rested, real, and a little less stressed.

You’ve got this.And if you don’t? That’s what grace (and takeout) is for.

— Lindsay